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For some reason, I’ve had the eastern philosophies on my mind lately. One thing occupying my mind the most is the Buddhist idea of reincarnation. I think that Siddhartha Gotama may have been on to something with this idea; however, I think he also got it completely wrong if he really meant that a part of us would literally become another distinct being after we died. I do think that to some extent, every living thing does become a part of other living things when it dies. It’s really not a new or difficult concept, and I’m sure most would agree. When a being dies, its body decomposes (or is burnt) and helps to feed things like plants, bacteria, and fungi which in turn help feed things like animals and insects. In that sense, we really do become a part of other living beings. So, in a strange and very convoluted way, I guess you could say that we are reincarnated after we die. We just become many different beings rather than one discrete being. Of course, that doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with Karma or how well we conformed to someone else’s moral code of conduct, so again… not completely accurate by my counts. 

Anyway, I am now going to attempt to go where I was actually intending to go when I started writing this post. As you may guess from the previous paragraph, I do not believe in literal reincarnation after death. I think that the Buddhist philosophy teaches some valuable lessons, but this is one of the areas where I feel it comes up short. There are some that claim to have proof of reincarnation and many of them have some very interesting stories to tell, but I would have to just let those continue to be what they are… stories (You can do a search on Google for “proof of reincarnation” if you’d like to see some of them. I’d rather not link to any particular site). Anyway, I do think that the idea of reincarnation is an interesting idea. However, I think it’s even more interesting to think of a reincarnation of self which happens while one is still alive. Some would say that one is reinventing themselves rather than reincarnation. They may be correct when thinking in terms of the semantics of the English language, but that just isn’t quite as interesting now is it? Besides, what I’m talking about here isn’t necessarily the voluntary act of changing one’s personality in an attempt to improve one’s life. What I’m referring to is the involuntary changes that one goes through as a result of living life as time passes by. 

We humans pass through several phases in our lives. As some would say, there are many chapters to the book of life. With each phase (or chapter), we gain a new perspective, a new point of view on life. No matter how hard we may try not to, we grow and so does our mind. Sometimes these changes are so drastic that our very consciousness seems to have been replaced. The only difference from the Buddhist idea of reincarnation is that, technically, we still have the same body (although some would even argue that point, but that’s another post entirely). But are we really still the same person? I don’t mean in the literal and physical sense. Using that type of criteria, we will always be the same person. On a philosophical level, however, when we think of the term “self” – Is a grown man, a father and husband, really the same person he was when he was a child? Well, of course not. Or should I say, hopefully not. Put another way, as one transitions from one phase of life to the next, their self (or at least a part of their self) dies as their new self is born from the pieces that remain. Now, put into this context, one may very well reach some sort of metaphorical Nirvana where they no longer need to change their self. You may even be able to call this enlightenment (more likely, though, we’d just call it old age). Of course, I have to think that life might be pretty boring if I ever reached that point. Of course, I also tend to think that the idea of heaven is pretty boring, too. 

Anyway, I think there is a subtle lesson to all of this (Although, I doubt that it’s the lesson Buddha was trying to teach). The first thing to remember is that the only constant is change. Who we are now is not who we were. As an adult, the person you once were as a child is now dead. All that remains of you is the you that is you right now. In other, less morbid words, we are as we are now and not as we were. Try as we might, we will never be that same person again. Therefore, we should not think of ourselves are we once were. Rather, we should leave the past where it belongs… in the past. Sure, learn from your past mistakes, but realize that the past is gone as is the old you. This is one of the easiest lesson to learn yet is often the absolute hardest to implement.

As I was pondering my recently abandoned blog, its title came to mind. This got me to thinking about the blog’s meaning and purpose. I won’t go into that topic too much here, but basically, the title itself is meant to suggest a notion of simplicity. The idea is to question what it is that we really need in life. It has come to mind that I don’t really talk much about what it is that I need out of life – at least not directly anyway. It’s been more about what I don’t need. Well, in the spirit of this blog’s title, I’d like to start a discussion on some of those things that I feel are really needed in my life.

At the top of the list is nothing. That’s it, nothing. That’s not to say that I don’t need anything, just that I need more nothing. One of the things I’ve been struggling with is living the life of a married man. While I was single, everything was a lot easier. I could do the things I wanted to do when I felt like doing them and without consulting with the wife. I didn’t have to consider the well-being of anyone but myself. There are many reasons why single life was easier. While I was single, though, there was this emptiness in my life. At the time, I really didn’t know how to deal with it, so I called it loneliness and just figured that I needed to find companionship as soon as possible. Now, I realize what that emptiness was. It was nothing. Those familiar with the Eastern philosophies like Taoism should know what I’m talking about here. The thing I refer to as nothing is very often misunderstood. It is often mistaken as feelings of loneliness, the infamous god-shaped hole, boredom, or a number of other [often very depressing and/or destructive] things.

I think that it’s very important to understand this nothing that we all have. I also think that it’s important that we not be so aftaid of the empty space that nothing creates that we get in a rush to fill it with something. The Taoists have an interesting analogy for the nothing inside of us. Imagine a bowl. The first thing you may think of is the bowl’s body. But what is it that makes the bowl a bowl? What makes the bowl useful? Inside the bowl is a large opening – a big empty space. It is this empty space that really makes the bowl special. Now, consider for a moment that the bowl is completely full of things. Now, what if you want to put something in it? You can’t. At least not without taking something out first.

One of my favorite Taoist books is The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff. Here’s what he has to say about nothing:

Let’s consider Emptiness in general for a moment. What is it about a Taoist landscape painting that seems so refreshing to so many different kinds of people? The Emptiness, the space that’s not filled in. What is it about fresh snow, clean air, pure water? Or good music? As Claude Debussy expressed it, “Music is the space between the notes.”

…Like silence after noise, or cool, clear water on a hot, stuffy day, Emptiness cleans out the messy mind and charges up the batteries of spiritual energy.

Many people are afraid of Emptiness… because it reminds them of Loneliness. Everything has to be filled in, it seems – appointment books, hillsides, vacant lots – but when all the spaces are filled, the Loneliness really begins. Then the Groups are joined, the Classes are signed up for, and the Gift-to-Yourself items are bought. When the Loneliness starts creeping in the door, the Television Set is turned on to make it go away. So some of us do instead, and after discarding the emptiness of the Big Congested Mess, we discover the fullness of Nothing.

This really makes me think of my life as it is now. One of the hardest things I have to deal with is my wife’s unwillingness to accept more nothing into her life. There must always be something to fill in the empty spaces – activities for our daughter (softball, soccer, dance, gymnastics…), PTO, classes, appointments. Even when there’s nothing, there must be, at a minimum, T.V. Then, there can’t just be T.V., there must be more mental stimulation like cell phone games or text messages or… Sound familiar? Hoff goes on to tell a story about a Japanese emperor. I can really relate to this guy.

One of our favorite examples of the value of Nothing is an incident in the life of the Japanese emperor Hirohito. Now, being emperor in one of the most frantically Confucianist countries in the world is not necessarily all that relaxing. From early morning until late at night, practically every minute of the emperor’s time is filled in with meetings, audiences, tours, inspections, and who-knows-what. And through a day so tightly scheduled that it would make a stone wall seem open by comparison, the emperor must glide, like a great ship sailing in a steady breeze.

In the middle of a particularly busy day, the emperor was driven to a meeting hall for an appointment of some kind. But when he arrived, there was no one there. The emperor walked into the middle of the great hall, stood silently for a moment, then bowed to the empty space. He turned to his assistants, a large smile on his face. “We must schedule more appointments like this,” he told them. “I haven’t enjoyed myself so much in a long time.”

I often wonder why an American society must mean a society obsessed with filling the empty space. We always seem so worried with increasing productivity that we don’t realize that to be truly productive, there must be time for nothing. There must be empty spaces. We all need to take time to enjoy the nothing – to enjoy life. I leave you all with a passage from a translation of chapter 48 of the Tao Te Ching found in The Tao of Pooh.

To attain knowlege, add things every day.
To attain wisdom, remove things every day.
~Lao Tzu

I started my day today like any other. I got to work this morning and went through my normal routine of checking email before getting caught up in another day at work. As I open my Internet browser, I notice the news that scientists may very well have found the missing link. For some reason, this very article makes me think about checking out what everyone’s been doing on WordPress lately. Mostly, I guess, I just wanted to see who, if anyone, has decided to write about this discovery. Perhaps someone has a link to another, more interesting article on it.

Anyway, the missing link article is just what brought me here today. The reason I’m actually writing is because of a comment by Lily. She writes, “…I am a tad disappointed at the absence of any recent blog entries. Did you happen to become enlightened before the turn of the new year?” You are absolutely write, Lily. I have been neglecting this blog for a while now. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I’ve become enlightened, but I do have a much stronger hold on what I do and do not believe. I have a few people in the blogging community to thank for that, and I do thank each and every one of you. I guess, to some extent that may be part of the reason for the lack of posts lately, but that’s not the only reason. In fact, if it’s a reason at all, it’s not even the main reason.

 This may seem like a lame excuse, mostly because it’s what many of us always say to people we haven’t talked to in a while, but I’ve been very busy lately. And I don’t mean that in the, “Sorry I haven’t called in a year. I’ve been… uh… busy.” sort of way, either. I’ve actually gone back to school to get my Masters degree in computer science. If you don’t think that will keep you busy, you don’t know much about graduate school or computer science. However, with that said, I do realize that I could’ve written something, even if it’s a short post telling everyone that I’m still alive and religion is still evil.

Anyway, Lily is right. I started this blog and have gained some interesting comments from some interesting readers who I think have become very interesting friends. Oh, and I don’t mean interesting in the “Oh my! Aren’t you… uh… different?” sort of way, but really, truly, interesting. I really do value the discussions we’ve had, and, hopefully, we’ll have many more. Plus, I have to say, that I never really realized just how much what I have to say could mean to someone else. But when I stop  to think about how other bloggers have helped me sort out the whirlwind of thoughts going around my head, I realize just how right Lily is. This is the reason blogs even exist. We are all social creatures. No matter how introverted a person is, there’s always that need to connect to others, even if it is through the written words on a computer screen. I forget sometimes that this very thing, this sharing of thoughts and ideas with others even though they’re a half a world away, is one of the most influencial ideas that brought me to the field that I’m supposedly in the process of “mastering”. Just the idea that we can touch someone else’s life without ever meeting them face-to-face has got to be one of the most rewarding feelings in the world.

Thank you, Lily, for brightening up a day that would’ve otherwise been a bit dark and gloomy. (Another reason for not posting anything lately is that I’ve been feeling kind of down and didn’t want to risk posting a dark and depressing post about how much life sucks.) I really appreciate the much needed compliment. And, to everyone that has been looking for my next blog post, I’m sorry that I’ve been out of commission lately. I’ve just been caught up in my own little world of software engineering paradigms and machine learning techniques and programming languages and web development technologies and the like. Now that I’ve taken a moment to come up for some air and noticed that there really is a whole other world out there that I used to belong to, I will try to be more sociable.

Until next time…

When searching for the truth in what you do or do not believe, you should always do your research. Read the scriptures [objectively], take notes, read others’ notes, etc… (Side note: I list an annotated Bible below, but you should always try to read the texts for yourself first before allowing someone else to dictate their meanings to you. This is a trap many fall in when going to church. The church leaders will always cover the good and seldom discuss the bad. You should also take in both sides and form your own interpretations.) In the process, you will begin to form your own opinions which should also be analyzed. In my opinion, beliefs and dis-beliefs should be constantly evaluated and tested. You should ask yourself why you believe what you believe. Do those beliefs still hold up when applied to the way the world [and universe] really works?

Losing your religion is not an easy path to take. Mine was no exception. This has been a long, slow, continuous [and sometimes painful] process. Many make the mistake of thinking that those who have turned away from Christianity do so quickly and without doing research. Many think that the only reason people turn away from the religion is because they’ve been hurt or because they see other members doing horrible things. While it is true that there are some that turn away in a quick, knee-jerk fashion, there are countless others that turn away because they began searching for the truth. My de-conversion actually came about because I was searching for evidence that would strengthen my faith. I have yet to find that evidence. What I have found has actually led me away from organized religion altogether. I’ve provided a few links to some material I have found helpful during my research. These are just a few of many resources out there. If you have any links that may be helpful to others, please list them in the comments.

  • Bible Gateway – A large collection of various versions and translations of the Bible. This site contains the full text Bible for just about any version or translation you could think of. If you are researching a religion, you should always read the holy texts.
  • Skeptic’s Annotated Bible – A complete copy of the Bible (King James Version) that has been annotated to show the good, the bad, and the contradictory. The Bible is often annotated by Christian writers who emphasize the good parts of the Bible. They try their best to explain away inconsistencies and atrocities etc. This annotated Bible “attempts to remedy this imbalance. It includes the entire text of the King James Version of the Bible, but without the pro-Bible propaganda.” The site also contains annotated versions of the Book of Mormon and the Quran.
  • Why I’m not a Christian – An electronic copy of Betrand Russell’s classic essay from 1927.
  • Pagan Origins of the Christ Myth – An interesting look at the history of Christianity and its parallels with (pre-Christianity) Pagan religions.
  • The Jesus Puzzle – Presenting the case that there was no historical Jesus. At least not the one depicted in the Bible.
  • The Jewish Roman World of Jesus – A list of writings that explore the early history of Christianity.
  • Let the Stones Speak – An essay exploring archaeology and the Old Testament.
  • An Evil God? by Daniel Florien – A blog series about why the Judeo-Christian god of the Bible is evil.  Daniel is just getting started with two chapters written (as of the writting of this post). It is well worth the time to take a look.

In my last post, I shared a very brief introduction to the reason I no longer believe in god(s) (or more specifically, why I no longer believe in the Judeo-Christian version of God). The main focus of the story is the number of questions that have sat in my mind for so many years with no adequate answers. Some people have tried to answer my questions. As they do, however, they always end up sounding like they don’t really know, either. Then they always come back to the same old not-answering-anything responses, saying things like “You’ve just got to have faith” and “God doesn’t need evidence” and “God works in mysterious ways” and “Just trust Him” and “I’ll pray for you” and so on.

To make a long story a few seconds shorter, I’ve done my own research, decided there aren’t any real answers, and have chosen a different path and outlook on life. I wasn’t planning on getting into a lot of detail about the questions that have led me to where I am today. As a result of some things that have recently begun to surface in my life, however, I feel it’s time to rehash some of these questions. This time, however, rather than trying to get answers as a means to strengthen faith, I am just asking some questions as food for thought.

Here are some of the bigger questions. There are definitely a LOT more, but these should do for now. In no particular order:

  1. Why would God need to come to Earth as a man and sacrifice himself in order to “save” humans? From my understanding, he is supposed to be all-powerful. If we can make the assumption that this is true, then he shouldn’t need to do anything in order to send people to heaven other than just sending them to heaven. There should be nothing more to saving us than just deciding to do so.
  2. Jesus’ death is always called a sacrifice. It was this sacrifice that supposedly allows humans to be “saved” from sin. Was this really a sacrifice? Other than being tortured for a day or two, there wasn’t a whole lot of sacrificing going on, from what I can see. On the third day following his “death”, he allegedly rose from the dead and ascended into heaven to be God’s right-hand man. It doesn’t sound like there was much loss there at all. In fact, it sounds, to me, like Jesus gained much more than he ever lost by dying a human death.
  3. Is Jesus supposed to be God or is he supposed to be God’s son? If Jesus is really just God’s son, then Christianity isn’t really the monotheistic religion it claims to be (Not to mention that there is yet one more entity in the “Holy Spirit”). Also, if Jesus is the son of God, then why can’t we just skip the middle man and pray directly to the big man himself?
  4. The Bible tells many tales where God talks to humans throughout history. In many of the stories, people beg for God to show them a sign that he is real. He always answers them in some way. Jesus himself even performs miracles in order to show others that he really is God incarnate. Of course, we are also told that we have to have faith in God without evidence. We must believe without seeing, without hearing, without knowing. Why was it different then? Why can’t we ask for proof now? Why doesn’t God show himself to everyone rather than asking us to believe without any real physical evidence? Why do we need to go against the human nature and reasoning that he supposedly gave us?
  5. How exactly are we all unclean and sinful? In the story of Adam and Eve, they ate an apple from a tree. That’s it. They ate a part of one apple and were banished from the Garden of Eden. Not only that, but any and all humans from then on out are to be punished and labeled as sinners. Why? If God created us, and we’re not exactly the way that we should be, then is God still perfect? I just don’t get this one. Why should I hide my face in shame just because a man and a woman ate an apple?
  6. Why didn’t God just kill Satan? He had no problem killing millions of people over the centuries. If Satan is that big of a threat to God, then how is he all-powerful? The Bible blames the death of millions upon millions of humans on God. Why does God kill them? Because they were evil abominations in his eyes. In one story, he sent a couple of angels to wipe out an entire civilization of people because they were gay. (Of course, he didn’t seem to mind so much that the one man that he spared just had sex with both of his daughters, but we’ll save that one for another day.) So, God will kill hundreds of gay people, but he won’t kill off Satan, who is supposedly the source of pure evil?

That’s all I have on this for now. I welcome comments on this subject from both believers and non-believers. Try to remember that these questions are not being posed in an attempt to attack anyone or their beliefs. They are just some of my thoughts and opinions. Please try to keep any comments as intelligent and civil as possible.

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